A Writer's Shade of Pale

Many thanks to all the people who added some great comments and valuable information to my post about virgin heroes. Many of you are writers I admire, and readers whose opinions matter above everything else. You've given me a lot to think about.

Today, just for fun, I've written an alternative set of lyrics to be sung to the tune of the Procol Harum hit song 'A Whiter Shade of Pale'. It refers to the laptop tan that many of us develop from spending long hours in front of our computer screens. You could also call it 'The Lament of the Commercial Fiction Writer' or anything else that seems appropriate. Before I share it with you, I must give a gracious (and slightly apologetic) bow to Amanda Hocking, whose talents I greatly admire. Here it is:


A Writer Shade of Pale

We want to write our hearts out,

Using adverbs by the score,

We were feeling sick of vampires

But the crowd called out for more!

Brick and mortar’s getting harder,

As our print sales fall away,

So we called out for another drink,

Bring us blood and make it pay!

And so it was, the author,
Halfway through her suckers’ tale,
Heard about Amanda Hocking,
And turned a writer shade of pale.

She said, "There is no reason,
Why we all can’t do as she,"

My lonely vampire isn’t perfect,
But he’s sexy and he’ll be
One of sixteen kindle versions
That are earning more than most,

And although my plot is shaky,
Spurts of blood will hide the worst!

And so I sit at my computer,

Telling gory teenage tales,
About a girl, at first just ghostly,

Drinking blood and making sales…

(Alternative lyrics by Cody Young)